I'm sorry, it's not me, it's absolutely you.
The concrete merkin you've had since 1980 is just too damn scary. I know what's below it: 111,000 cubic yards of radioactive soil and debris from Bikini and Rongelap atolls and a 30-foot deep, 350-foot wide crater created by the May 5, 1958 Cactus test.
I am very afraid.
Source: here.
